Until one day, he’s five years old. And you hand him his backpack and he climbs into the carseat on his own. And once the buckles click, you drive him to a little white converted church and leave him at this building with people you now know quite well, and would trust with your life. One last time.
Read MoreFrom the moment we knew you were growing in my belly, we worked to keep you safe. Healthy. Strong. There was always an answer. The latest research and guidelines from the top experts in every field. But when I try to figure out how to keep you safe from a man with a gun who could enter your school, I am at a loss.
Read MoreIn the United States, our culture has not progressed to a point where families have the resources they need to function at a high level on all fronts. There’s just not enough support or understanding. That reality is born out of a lot of misogyny and patriarchal conditioning over hundreds of years. So it is infuriating, but not surprising, when 192 people vote against funding to address a crisis that they consider “a women’s issue.”
Read More“This project put me in a place of continuous remembering, woven together with grief. Not for the past life I led, but for the many things COVID has taken from us, and the uncertainty of what we’ll rebuild and reimagine when we emerge from this strange, liminal space. And in the same breath where I grieve for what we’ve lost, I am also immensely grateful for the possibilities that could come in the after.”
Read MoreIf I don’t own my discomfort publicly, and address the work I’m doing in a visible way, I feel complicit in keeping the structures from crumbling. I offer this not as a way to hold myself accountable, because I need to do that no matter what, but I’m hoping that sharing will help hold other white people accountable, too. I know that my black and brown friends and people in my community are forging ahead in the ways they must – to protect and defend themselves and their wellbeing, their families, and their communities. I do not want them to also be burdened with the responsibility of leading us through the work of unlearning racism, too. Even though many are doing just that. Even though I am profoundly grateful when they do.
Read MoreSometimes my former self and this new maker of things intersect. I feel them meet in my teaching, as I help my students decide how they will move forward as dancers.
These two versions of myself work side by side when I’m in the studio, trying to make a dance, trying to figure out what matters to me now.
My former self whispers in my ear as my son spreads his arms and begins to turn: slowly, then faster. As the giggles escape, I know he’s found the joy of making movement.
Read MoreI think of the familiar image of an older mother warning younger mothers to “Enjoy this time now! It goes by too fast!” And I realize that all mothers carry a bit of grief in their hearts wherever they go, because motherhood is tied to change, and it’s change that takes place in the living blueprint of our souls: our children.
Read MoreHello little one. Tomorrow, your mama turns thirty. You will join us out here in less than eight weeks (unless you take after me, which will might make your grandma feel vindicated). As I take time to think about the life that’s led me to this milestone birthday, you are also on my mind. As I evaluate my choices and consider the lessons I’ve learned, I can’t help but imagine how your own life will unfold. Undoubtedly, you will encounter many challenges, and your dad and I will do our best to help you navigate them, while giving you space to fall, learn, and move through it all. Eventually, you will create your own roadmap of expectations and ambitions, and you will chart your own way through that territory.
Read MoreIt’s a hard time to be human. If paying attention is the first rule for an artist, it’s a painful rule to follow right now. I feel like I’ve been standing still for a long time. I’ve watched and listened and asked questions, but I haven’t been moving. As a dance artist, that feels like a problem, but it’s one I don’t necessarily feel the need to dwell on right now. Last night, I had an impulse to move; to allow the body’s capacity for empathy to help me process what I’m thinking and feeling.
Read MoreA year later, my city is back in the spotlight. This time, it's not violence driving national headlines. It's because a governor and his administration thought no one would notice if they poisoned a poor, black city in order to save money.
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